Only when we trust ourselves to listen and hear want God wants us to do, will we have peace. I look around and wonder why I am placed in this place that does not hold my heart and long to just go home. I know in my soul that God wants my to find my home...and it is not a place...it is wherever I am with Him, aligned with Him.
That is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. To know that what we want most is not the will of God. That He has something else in mind. Something that will cause us to grow in the way He wants. And it might be painful, or arduous, or not much fun. But, at the end we will see that it was right.
That is my journey in California. I am blessed to have what I love most, my husband, my kids, my lifestyle. I know the things I miss...school, church, kitchen, laundry room, yard, neighbors, food!, are just material things and don't really matter. But, how my fallen self loves material things sometimes..okay, most of the time.
Walking with him today and choosing peace in His will, not longing for mine. Dang, but that is hard!
Your words are so true, Gretchen. Only when we accept God's plan for us can we truly be at "home". I know your pain of not having what you want or being where you want to be. After 20 years of infertility and wanting what I could not have, I have learned that we are truly rewarded for following God's plan instead of our own. Had I followed my own plan, I would not have Joey and Eli and my life would have been so empty. Please remind me of this the next time I call you complaining about unnamed people who will not sleep in their own beds or DO AS THEY ARE TOLD!
ReplyDeleteI love you and I hope you find peace in your heart. You have made your home truly beautiful and you know that life is not made wonderful by WHAT you have but by with WHOM you have it. :)
I think you should start making a joy list. I know all the things about California that you hate! I know all the things that you miss. But what about the things that you love? I have struggled to make this home in Virginia...but I'm learning or training myself to find the good and ignore (most of the) bad. I love your house on the hill and the wide open expanse of your space. You can see for miles. I love the laughter and noise that fills your space. I liken it to living in a bee hive. There is constant movement and I love it's energy! I love the way you still look at Greg after all these years. Continue...
ReplyDeleteThat is why I created the joy project to focus on joy every single day. This is my joy list.
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